So I have been exercising on and off. I recently started a 30 day makeover work out. but i kinda changed it to be the things I like to do, and see what happens in 30 days. So basically it is a 30 day challenge. I would like to see what I can do when I try to watch how I eat and exercise. I am still working out with the kettlebell and the beginning boxing workout that I like. today is day 12 and i started at 253 and while i have not been eating so well, I was 251 yesterday. I have also noticed, that there is more definition in my face, like i can see where my cheekbones are and there is even a little concave curve. I don't think I have ever noticed my cheekbones in my entire life until this morning. I also think my crappy haircut accentuates them, which i guess is good.

I also have a picture to show. :)

This is me as of right now...I did my hair all curly, I think it would look nice clipped back.




P.S. I hate when you are really aware of your chin, stomach, or arms. It is really an uncomfortable feeling.

I would like to get a hair cut. My hair is past my shoulders now and it is just getting to be too much to handle. I was thinking something like edie/twiggy inspired. Kinda like this girls...





any suggestions or input?

Today is the first day after my first practice. I hurt so much more today than I hurt yesterday. I can barely make it up and down the three flights of stairs to get from my apartment to my car and back. And I certainly seem to be having trouble sitting down and getting up. Standing and walking aren't bad though. It can only get better from here right?

If anyone knows how to make this hurt less, please share I am interested. I am taking some ibuprofen (did I spell that right?) and I think I shall use some IcyHot tonight (only because I don't have any bengay).

Looking forward to work tomorrow morning. It is the first day I do shipment and I am interested in what it all entails. I am not looking forward to getting up at 5 though.

I am also nervous and excited for practice on Wednesday night. I am worried that I won't be well enough to skate, and if I am, that I will not be well enough to crawl upstairs and into bed when practice is finished at 8.30.

I will, however, make sure to eat properly before practice unlike Sunday morning.

I woke up this morning at 9, ate breakfast, and then went to Black Mamba Skate Park for my first ever fresh meat roller derby practice! I am very sore, very tired now that I took a shower and had lunch, but also very excited and proud of myself. I did wayyyy better than I thought I was going to do. I think finally going was just the kick in my butt that I needed. I now feel that I have to go to practices because I went to this one, and I feel it is only fair to me and the rest of the team that I eat well, exercise, practice and do my best. I think it is all going to work out this time.

If anyone has any advice on workouts or anything, I would appreciate it.


Now I get to relax until I go to work.

So last week I saw that ACRD is indeed still looking for people for the 2010 season. That means I will be a ref. I am going to practice either tuesday or thursday because I have work sunday morning.

I have not exercised in two weeks. I should have, but Nate was saying how he was going to exercise with me everyday. Whatever, suprise! he lied again.

I did go play tennis yesterday though.


Also I reconnected with my old skating coach from when I was three. I told him that I thought he would enjoy that I was joining a roller derby team, and come to find out, he is starting one up at the rink he works at.

That is all. I need to get back to exercising and not worrying about Nate. He can do whatever.

Today is a snow day. Which means I can get caught up on my school work and also get ahead.

I yet again slipped. I started eating fast food again and stopped exercising for a while. I find it hard to get motivated when I don't see results. I started exercising again. Right now I am doing a beginning boxing workout three days a week. I am also going to start weight training again.

I seemed to have hit a plateau. It seems that I am stuck in the 240-250 range. I am committed to bursting through this wall. I would like to lose ten pounds by the end of lent. I gave up buying new clothes for lent and reserving that for rewards. If I lose the ten pounds, I will probably buy myself one new outfit.

I am also interested in buying a new bathing suit. I probably wont use one this summer, so I am not worried. But I have decided that I would like to go on a little vacation with Nate next summer. We will have moved, gotten new jobs, and I will probably be at a new school. Because of that I think we will not see much of each other, and a little vacation, my treat, will help.

Also because I am in a decent mood today, I will post a before and after so far.
I don't know the exact weight of the first picture but I can guess it was somewhere around 270 or more. It is a little embarrassing, but every time i see that picture, I know I don't want to be that again.


me and my brother


me on the OCC Photo Club trip to D.C. ~146lbs


Also if anyone wants to know anything about what I am doing, menu or work out wise, I will try to post more often and post those things.

I know it has been 12 weeks since I last posted, but I have been busy with classwork and actual work. I never made it down to the Derby practices again. But I am just using that as a sign that I need to exercise more before I try to join. Because dont worry, I still want to! I have a new job again. I am no longer at WMF Photography, I am now working at Old Navy. Also the semister is almost over and I should finish by this time next year. Also I am looking into getting a minor. I want to have a major in Photography and a minor in Journalism. It sounds pretty good in my opinion. And I only need to take four extra classes because all my photo classes count for that minor.
As for exercise, I have started again. I have been doing well for almost 6 weeks now. I am currently exclusively working out with the kettlebell, but after two more weeks I am going to add an extra day of the kettlebell and two days of walking or jumprope. So far I have been doing well, losing weight, gaining muscle, and losing inches. I find that if I write down everything that I notice any progress I make, so that I want to continue with my hard work. I just need to stop eating fast food again, and I think I will be rockin'.
As for goals and rewards, if I exercised just twice a week for 3 weeks I bought myself new underwear, and if I continued for 3 more weeks, I would buy me bras and babydolls from VS. My bras are in the mail along with a babydoll, and I have two at home I recieved Saturday that fit. I thought I was still going to have to work into them. Also I am a size 20 and I fit GAP and Old Navy pants best. I am probably done with Alloy and Delias for pants. If not forever, at least for a while.

I think that is just about everything I have to say.

It has been a while since I have posted. That is because I had a broken scale and had to go buy a new one. I have a new job, and school is starting. As long as I don't eat out a lot, I will continue to do well. I just need to make sure I pack myself a lunch and snacks, and do my best to find time to exercise.

As for the roller derby, I still haven't gone to a practice. I was going to go last weekend, but none of the girls seemed to be there. And unfortunately the week before that I slept too late. I sent a message to KK about the insurance that I need to be a ref, but she never got back to me. So I will probably go to the tuesday practice while Nate is at work and try to sort everything out. I am also not sure if I will be able to make it to the recruitment meeting with my new job.

Also on the thought of food, well I thought of it but didn't type it. I can not eat fast food anymore. It makes me ill. WFM bought everyone pizza and soda, and it was sooooo greasy I was sick the rest of the night. It even ruined my Fair experience. But not too badly because I still enjoyed all the roosters and geese.



wt. 242

I have not been doing so good. I haven't been eating so well lately. It is partially due to strong temptation and the rest is being emotional and pmsy. Also apparently the home scale is about 10lbs off. That was a severe blow to my confidence. I thought I was doing soooooo good. I am not. I am doing terribly. I want to go out and buy a better scale.

Also because of this, my self confidence, and the way I see myself have also gone down the tubes. For the past three days I have been on the verge of tears. Along with the slow progress I got a haircut, of which I hate. Therefore, I feel that I am not cute, my body is disgusting, (I have been having trouble with my friends) that I am not good enough, etc. Like when Nate says that I can't wear sexy lingerie, or comments about girls and the way the dress, or like when we were watching more to love and he said he thought it was a very disturbing thought to think about two fat people having sex, I just feel worse about myself.

I need to get back on track, working out, eating, and emotionally.

So I haven't been eating so well these past few days. I have been going home a lot this week. Suprise! I don't eat well at my parents. The worst of it was when we went to kirbys. I thought hey,  I haven't had a burger in forever, maybe I'll get one. I did. And my entire meal and kirbys was like 1000 cal. thats like two meals for me. I felt like shit. And of course I had a donut. I haven't done well at all. I can't wait for today to be over so that I can start all over again. Well, I will try hard to do good today, but it can only be so good. theres no fruit, no vegetables, no cereal, no nothing healthy.  but the good news is I have been trying very hard and weighing myself often, and I have been doing pretty good. I think the scale was wrong yesterday, it says I am 222 but like two days ago I was 232. Oh well. I will just check tomorrow and see how it goes.


Also I am going to the last ACRD home bout today. I am excited to finally have a seat on the rink.



I am also excited for school to start, to try and get into a photo class, get a new job, and start the roller derby stuff. I will continue to lose weight and eat well, and do my best to keep up my duties at home.